All You Want to Know And Don’t Know: Complete Guide to BDSM

Bondage, discipline, dominance, and submission.

The terms sadism and masochism are derived from the names of Marquis de Sade and Leopold von Sacher-Masoch, two writers who both love and advocate sadomasochism in their writings.

If you ask a person about the definition of BDSM, I think most people know a bit about BDSM and BDSM equipment, and they tend to answer you with sadists and masochists to obtain their sexual pleasure through sadomasochism and BDSM toys.

In short, Sadomasochism (BDSM) is a kind of relationship mode in which the parties obtain sexual pleasure through a series of Sadomasochism activities. Its basic principles (SSC principles) include safety, sane and informed consent, even with most horrible BDSM toys. 

Generally, there is at least one S(dominator, abuser) and one M (follower, masochist) in this relationship model using BDSM toys. The specific sadistic activities include binding, verbal humiliation, public training, SP (spanking), wax dripping, and so on, mainly focusing on the three dimensions of binding, domination, and abuse. In the process of training with BDSM toys, S seems to occupy the dominant position, but in fact, M is in charge of the whole situation - everything is based on M's acceptance of those kinky sex toy, and the training behavior can not exceed M's tolerance of BDSM toys.

Everyone could search ‘BDSM’ on Google to find out the official definition on Wikipedia, and BDSM is a variety of often erotic activities or role playing involving bondage, discipline, dominance and submission, sadomasochism, and other interpersonal dynamics with BDSM toys. 

What is BDSM and BDSM equipment? Sohimi would divide these four letters like BD -- Bondage & Discipline, DS -- Domination & Submission, SM -- Sadism & Masochism. BDSM usually happens between two people in a personal way and one is called DOM/top, who is dominant and in control of the procedure to use BDSM toys on the Sub, and the other one is Sub/bottom, who is submissive and is the follower of DOM, who tolerate or enjoy those kinky sex toy. 

BDSM may include cross-dressers, body modification enthusiasts, rubber fetishists, and animal role players, and so on. BDSM is an umbrella term for erotic behavior between consenting adults. The difference between BDSM and crime of abuse is the rule of SSC(safe, sane, and consensual). For example, if Sub says a safe word like “not this way”, and the DOM should pause action right away. Unlike sexual abuse, BDSM and BDSM equipment is enjoyable for both parties. 

In conclusion, I would say BDSM is as simple as an adults' sex game with some brutal but safe procedure.

As for BDSM equipment, you can use rope as BDSM equipment to bond your partner or be bonded. There are arm binders, anal hook, ball lock, bondage cuffs, bondage mittens, bondage harness, bondage belt, bondage belt, bondage hood, bondage tape, breast binder, chain, cock ring, collar, corset, elbow harness, humbler, mouth gags, dildo gags, shackles, sleep sacks, speculum, stocks, gay BDSM toy, BDSM sets, paddles BDSM, bed restraints for sex, whip bondage and so on.

Conventionally, masochism should elicit an emotional response of fear. Why does fear turn into sexual pleasure in BDSM?

There is a part of the brain called the amygdala, which is mainly responsible for emotions.

In the whole process of emotional response, the amygdala first needs to initiate a primitive emotion to be transmitted to the cerebral cortex, and then the human brain will direct this emotion through its environment.

If the environment is dangerous and poses a threat to safety, the human brain will define the emotion as fear; if there are lovers and friends left in the environment, the human brain will define the emotion as sadness.

When the environment is not obvious emotional suggestive, the human brain has great flexibility in the direction of emotion.

In BDSM, M clearly knows that he or she is safe with those BDSM toys. Masochism should have produced a fear of emotional response, but because the environment doesn’t convey to the brain the need to produce fear emotion information, so this emotion was re-directed by consciousness.

So why does this fear translate into a sexual pleasure rather than other emotions?

Studies by Michael S Fanselow and other scholars (2006) show that when people feel fear or sexual pleasure, the amygdala secretes the same hormone -- adrenaline.

That is, when people feel fear, the amygdala secretes adrenaline to prompt the cortex. Then, the cortex will judge according to the environment in which it is located, and it should be directed to fear or sexual pleasure.

In BDSM and BDSM equipment situations, the environment the brain feels is safe, so consciousness tends to redirect this emotion to a sexual pleasure similar to its (fear).

Misunderstanding 1: Those who like BDSM and kinky sex toy are perverts.

Maybe it is a little bit kinky but not pervert. These should be the most common misunderstandings about BDSM and BDSM equipment. Those who think they like BDSM are all perverts. They must have suffered psychological trauma when they were young. Otherwise, who would like this kind of game of looking for abuse?

Pamela h. Connolly did a study on the BDSM group (2006). He recruited 32 BDSM fans and found that the participants did not show a high level of psychopathology, such as obsessive-compulsive disorder, anxiety disorder, depression, psychomasochism, post-traumatic stress syndrome, etc.

Andreas A J wismeijer (2013) confirmed this: 902 BDSMers surveyed were "more outgoing, more responsible, and less neurotic" than 434 people who did not like BDSM and BDSM equipment.

 Misunderstanding 2: BDSM is sexual abuse.

The key word is "involuntary". In the definition of Wikipedia, sexual abuse is abusive sexual behavior by one person upon another. It is often perpetrated using force or by taking advantage of another. It has been stated at the beginning of the article that informed consent is one of the three most basic principles of BDSM, which is the key factor to distinguish BDSM from sexual abuse. And the BDSM equipment is safe to use as long as you take care of your partner.

1) BDSM refers to a kind of relationship mode in which the parties obtain sexual pleasure through a series of sadistic activities with BDSM equipment. Its basic principles are: safety, reason and informed consent.

2) Before the training behavior, both parties (multi parties) need to sign a security agreement, and M needs to determine the security word. All the training behavior should be based on M's acceptance, and the training behavior should not exceed M's tolerance.

3) BDSM is not a synonym for sexual perversion, but a personal sexual hobby with BDSM equipment.

4) The most essential difference between BDSM and sexual abuse is whether to respect the free will of the parties (sexual abuse is forcing others, others do not voluntarily) when he or she ask for stop using those kinky sex toy.

5) Sexual behavior may occur in the process of training, which depends on the wishes of both parties (parties)and sometimes take advantages of BDSM equipment, but sexual behavior is not a necessary condition for training.

6) Why do people like BDSM and love using BDSM equipment? From the perspective of brain neuroscience, one is that masochism makes participants have sexual pleasure. Second, non-abusive / masochistic behaviors such as dominance & obedience make participants feel safe and happy.

 Masochism (including self-abuse and other abuse) can activate the amygdala, which is in the subconscious area. The amygdala transmits information to the cerebral cortex (conscious area), and the human brain directs emotion through the perception of the environment. In the process of masochism, the slave clearly knows that he is safe with BDSM equipment, so he will not be directed to fear, but to sexual experience with a similar mechanism. Masochism and sadism can establish and strengthen the master-slave relationship. Because of the experience of the master-slave relationship, the slave party will secrete endorphins, produce a sense of security, and promote the secretion of dopamine, resulting in pleasure. Other strong emotions, such as humiliation, can also be redirected to euphoria through consciousness. Because the process of abuse leads to the secretion of dopamine, so many behaviors will make the brain directly connect the abuse with pleasure. The brain is addicted to dopamine, or rather addicted to the abusive behavior and BDSM equipment. The key of BDSM is that the follower has enough sense of security. Since the above emotional redirection occurs in the category of consciousness, theoretically anyone can develop this mechanism, that is, to become a BDSM and BDSM equipment fan. Serious negative experiences in early life, such as the divorce of parents in childhood and the death of relatives, can produce strong and long-term negative emotional experiences on the person concerned. Through the above mechanism, people who have experienced this kind of event will be more easily transformed into BDSM and BDSM equipment enthusiasts than others.