Hi Sohimi,

Last week, I rolled the sheets with my boyfriend, and I found that he was crying after sex. I didn’t take it seriously. I fell asleep when I was too tired. Then, it’s the day before yesterday, I found that he was crying again… I wondered if I was not so good, right? Should I cry if I want to cry? When asked what happened to him, he couldn’t tell it clearly, that is, he felt uncomfortable and wanted to cry…I was a little worried, he wouldn’t be depressed, right? But I don’t usually do anything. Recently, we just finished the sex and that’s it. Am I too good or too bad? I can’t help but think about it!

A girl with trouble

Hi Anonymous,

I’m sure that your boyfriend is not the first person who has encountered “Post-coital dysphoria” (PCD, also called post-coital depression, and it will also cause anxiety. The abbreviation PCD will be used in the following). In addition to men, many women will also have it with or within orgasm. Today, let’s talk about this “post-coital anxiety disorder”.

What is post-coital anxiety?

Anxiety disorder after sexual intercourse mainly refers to the feeling of anxiety, restlessness, and sadness after (consensual) sex. A study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine in 2015 showed that PCD is a broad term that refers to a variety of negative emotions including anxiety, excitement, crying, depression, and even aggression after intercourse. It usually occurs within five minutes to two hours after sex.

Just like some people will hug each other after sex, some will meditate (don’t know what to think, maybe just give up?), some will come to smoke, and some will have PCD.

In fact, PCD existed as early as the ancient Greek era. The great philosopher Aristotle once said: “All the animals will be melancholy after intercourse. (Post coitum omne animal triste est)”

Although I don’t know how Aristotle knew it, people just came to this conclusion. Current research shows that not all people have this disorder (it can be deduced that not all animals are depressed ), but Aristotle’s words at least show that this situation already existed in that era.

In 2018, a study surveyed approximately 1,200 men between the ages of 18 and 81 from 78 different countries. A 30-minute online survey was conducted on them. One of the questions asked whether they have experienced “unexplainable tears, sadness, or irritability after a mutually agreed sexual activity” in the past 4 weeks or ever.

The results show that about 41% of men have experienced PCD; about 20% of men have experienced this condition in the past 4 weeks; about 4% of men said they “experienced this condition most or all of the time “.

It should be noted that PCD occurs between men and women, and even the proportion of women appearing is higher than that of men.

In 2015, the “Journal of Sexual Medicine” published a research report on 230 female college students in Australia. Their age ranged from 18 to 55, with an average age of 26. The report showed that 46% of women said they had experienced PCD in the past; about 5% of women said they had had symptoms in the past month; about 2% of women reported “always” or “most of the time”.

From the above research, we can see that a large proportion of men and women have experienced PCD. Many people may feel baffled, at a loss, or even thinking when they experience PCD or their sexual partners' experience PCD. Don’t panic, let’s take a look at what caused them to have PCD.

What is the cause of PCD?

From a medical point of view, there is a saying that PCD is just a brief sense of loss after the pleasure of orgasm. From a sexology point of view, it may be because of the “refractory period” after male sexual intercourse is at work.

International Society of Sexual Medicine also provides some theoretical explanations:

1. It may be related to such close and in-depth contact with your partner during sexual intercourse, and the separation after the end destroys this intimacy;
2. The existence of this reaction may be related to past sexual abuse;
3. Conflicts in intimate relationships may also be a potential cause.

In addition, it may also be related to the changes in hormones. A variety of hormones such as dopamine, oxytocin, and endorphins are produced during the same intercourse. The ups and downs of hormones may lead to changes in mood. Of course, recent psychological state/life pressure, etc., may also be an important factor leading to the appearance of PCD.

Someone asked why men have PCD, and most of the men’s answers are as follows:

1. Your partner does not care about your feelings, which makes people feel neglected;
2. Experienced a bad one-night stand;
3. Shame due to religious belief;
4. Feel the current relationship is not good.

How to deal with PCD?

First of all, we need to know that PCD is a relatively common situation, so we don’t need to pay extra attention or focus on it to not cause greater pressure on our partner or ourselves.

Secondly, we need to try to perceive it and try to describe what causes our PCD situation.

If it is because you have suffered sexual abuse, or have separation anxiety, and your intimacy is affected by PCD, you can consider psychological treatment or counseling.

If it’s because of hormones, then we won’t be a big problem when we recover afterward.

If it is because of excessive pressure recently or a problem in the intimate relationship, it is recommended that both parties communicate in time to actively relieve the pressure and be honest about the problem.

In general, the current understanding and research on PCD are not sufficient. At this stage, we only need to know that there is such a situation, face it squarely, but don’t pay too much attention, and treat it with peace of mind. If you or your partner experience anxiety, tears, anxiety, etc. So please don’t rush to get up and leave after sex. Hugging and chatting may help you know the reason and calm the current emotions.

Maybe people can try sex toys

If you are sad about real intercourse, why not try Sohimi sex products? Would it be better to use sex toy products instead of real intercourse?

The first product we recommend is Sohimi Eliza male masturbator, It will free man’s hands to explore more fun. This hands-free male masturbator has 5 different thrusting modes, and it was intense using this by getting rid of the boring single-mode, offering a variety of possibilities to satisfy every man. With a constant thrust, it brings a new dimension to masturbation. A fast charging, long battery life, great quality male masturbator that is also very easy to clean, this is the one you should buy.

The second product is Sohimi fake pussy which is designed like a real woman’s vagina, you can see the annular lines and salient points inside the sleeve, the realistic and sexy clitoris, like a secret lover waiting for your touch, creating stimulation stronger while putting it up and down. Made from high-quality silicone, this fake pussy is 100% body-safe and without smell, it is smooth, soft, and stretchy, you can run you at will. Moreover, the silicone part of this fake pussy is waterproof, so you can clean it thoroughly with water, and it’s also a good shower masturbator for you. The total length of the fake pussy is 8.77 inches and the insertion length is 7.67 inches. It is not too big, so you can easily hold it in your hand, but it’s big enough for your penis. What’s more, due to its suitable size, you can take it anywhere you like to go.

The third product is unlikely other penis rings, Sohimi FEDER penis massager provides extra pressure and amazing stimulation to your perineum with a taint teaser on the inside. Let the penis massager fits around your cock and balls tightly, stimulates your perineum with gentle pressure. When put on the button, your penis, balls, and perineum will be under pleasurable vibration, relax, and enjoy a wonderful time.

This penis massager with a taint teaser is made of high-quality soft silicone, safe and durable in use. Smooth silicone feels soft to the touch but firm enough to give you a delicious feeling of fullness. Moreover, it’s very stretchy, so this penis massager can fit perfectly on just about everyone.

Thomas Lacquer’s 2003 book, Lonely Sex: A Cultural History of Masturbation, let us know that the word masturbation was invented in 1713. He believes that masturbation may have always existed, but this phenomenon was only named in the early 18th century from which has been regarded as a new “disease” that will bring “guilt, shame, and anxiety” to people.

But today, in the summer of 2021, the discussion of masturbation has become more public in society, and the shame it gives people has been greatly reduced. With the advent of the Internet age, people are discussing more private topics online than in reality, and according to reports, 20% of mobile searches are for pornographic content. According to WebMD, masturbation is now considered a normal, healthy sexual activity that is enjoyable, fulfilling, acceptable and safe, and many people have even written guidelines on how to do it. In addition, a large number of studies have shown that masturbation has many health benefits.

With all of this in mind, sex toys have also appeared in our current society to solve our cunning masturbation troubles. Thanks to all sex toy manufacturers, what a great invention! Undoubtedly, our tone may be a bit more excited than usual, but we absolutely appreciate the fact that sex toys can free hands and enjoy happiness. The benefits of popularizing sex toys to more people are not only in our work but also in the future. It’s our mission, you know. If you are shopping for an oral sex device that meets the requirements, then leave this task to us. We have spent some time sorting out the choices in the US market for you.

Sohimi Eliza-Hands Free Male Masturbator

PRICE: $ 68.99

While enjoying wonderful masturbation, would you like to free your hands to explore more fun?

Unsurprisingly, the hottest male masturbator on the American market is Eliza. Congrats. She may always be a champion. Why? She provides a chance for users to spice up their sex life to the new dimension of masturbation. The users who have used it all praised her highly.

Not only because she has 5 different thrusting modes, letting you get rid of the boring single mode, but also because she has three kinds of female groans, it’s up to you, giving you a variety of possibilities to satisfy yourself.

The insertion length of this hands-free male masturbator is up to 14.5 cm, long enough for almost penis size. Made from high-quality silicone, this hands-free male masturbator is stretchy, soft, and smooth, it can accommodate any size dildo while provides extremely intense suction. The hands-free male masturbator is designed with a firm suction base that you can free your hands by grabbing it to any smooth hard surface such as the bathroom, bedroom, etc. It must be the best shower masturbator in your collection.

Honestly, the best male sex toys exist for any and all situations — no matter what you’re getting into. We all believe it can be fit for almost every man. But the only disadvantage for ELIZA is that it has various modes to choose from, each mode is stronger than other similar auto strokers. If you’re a beginner or looking for strokers that providing the feeling of hands wanking, please go for Top 2 ALICE masturbator.

Sohimi ALICE hands-free masturbator

PRICE: $72.99

In order to climax, many of us require higher and stronger friction. However, not all men suit this kind of fierce sexual activity, not a quick orgasm, they may feel hurtful on the contrary. If you don’t feel good about this masturbation style, ALICE might be your best choice compared with those masturbation toys providing fierce movement.

It also provides a mind-blow sensation with 10 different rotating & thrusting modes. By moving up and down constantly, as well as the rotating motion, you can feel that a warm soft woman’s hand is wanking your penis gently. Switch to the next mode, you can feel the strong stronger and the frequency faster. Choose one mode you like and just enjoy the amazing masturbation.

Sohimi Fake Pussy

PRICE: $29.99

This product has also won a lot of love, but its potential problem is that if your genitals are small or you are still a developing minor, then you need more grip and pressure to enter. It is several soft gel-like bristles instead of one solid piece so that helps fit to different sizes. Take note bro.

A lot of modern masturbators are designed to look handy and easy-to-go which is resembling Bluetooth audio or air purifier rather than a portable orgasm lover. But there’s no pretense with Sohimi Fake Pussy, which would never be mistaken for anything other than exactly what it is.

The fake pussy is akin to real skin — some smooth, some textured, but elastic enough. They do a great job of imitating the likeness and tightness of a real vagina or any orifice of your choice. The toy inside has all these grooves and bubbles and cutouts that are going to make you feel really good and let you explore different sensations your genitalia has never felt before. It has so many different grooves and ridges, it feels different everywhere.

As long as you “clean it out with soap and water” after climaxing, it’s designed to last for years. This fake pussy is the simplest — and if you want to experiment, it’s so much worthy due to the price.

Sohimi LG362 Blowjob Masturbator

PRICE: $ 67.95

LG362 is a handheld masturbator. It’s designed to operate with your hand once you’ve added lube, resulting in an experience as “basically there is a real person doing oral sex for you and you are holding her head.” It’s not the first time the concept has been attempted, but the resulting products have always been really loud, with not enough grip, and no way to adjust the tightness. LG362, by contrast, is the closest of a real hand or blow job without having one.

The LG362’s price point is justified by its increased durability, lasting longer than other sleeves. While many reviewers did specifically mention that the texture of this model was useful in helping them last longer, others simply stated that they found it to be more pleasurable than other models.

The product featured here is the “Lady” design, so the user can get deep throat sucking and unlimited pleasure. It’s the best blowjob masturbator with Clamp and Vibration Technology. The pressure of airbags can make you feel like a hot girl is performing oral sex on you, and what’s more, it has a sexy female voice, The more intense you perform, the more passionate her voice becomes.

Sohimi Auto Stroker

PRICE: $ 69.99

Sohimi auto stroker is the best masturbator for men on the market.

A detachable cup is the best advantage of this auto stroker, and you cannot find any other same product until now. Made of Eco-friendly silicone material, this auto stroker is so soft but full of granules, giving you the pleasure of friction to enhance the stimulation of your orgasm. And of course, using the right amount of lubricant can make it easier for you to get in, and it can also enhance the sense of pleasure.

Just like other ordinary male masturbators, this auto stroker is USB rechargeable, so there’s no need to change batteries, and you can charge it in a easier way.

Dear Sohimi,

I’m a 45-year-old man who has a ten-year marriage now, but unluckily, my marriage sex doesn’t have too much pleasure for me. Every time I make love with my wife, our intercourse is smoothly without a hitch but I seldom get an orgasm from it. Through masturbating I could bring myself to orgasm within three minutes. However, through vaginal sex, it doesn’t happen at all and she has to finish me with oral sex or a hand job. I’m not sure what’s going on. My question is, knowing all this, how can I do? I’m starting to feel self-conscious and unattractive in addition to exhausted during the increasingly rare occasions that we do have sex. Please help me.

J.

Dear J.

Do not worry, we are here to help you. 

In modern society, it’s generally believed that some men have a strong physiological response to orgasm, which occurs with loud shouts and violent body movements. Others will have quieter ones. But the intensity of most men's orgasms may fall between these two extreme reflections.

For many males, the main source of pleasure in orgasm is powerful ejaculation. Long after ejaculation, some men continue to experience a strong feeling of orgasm. While other men experience orgasms with a similar pattern to women, but the intensity is several times that of women, and a series of orgasms with short intervals of less intensity are accompanied by ejaculation at the peak. 

There is also a stereotype that only women will encounter the problem of not having an orgasm during sex. In comparison, it is much more direct and easier for men to get happiness. However, the MSNBC website in the United States reports that: men are not as we imagined, which in the process of sex can reach orgasm every time.

American sexologist Brian Alexander pointed out in the report that some people can have an erection without difficulty during sex, and can last for a long time without being weak, but they cannot achieve orgasm or ejaculation, not to mention sexual pleasure. This is a sexual dysfunction disease as opposed to premature ejaculation, and improper handling may affect the relationship between couples. 

We have collected four ways to help you: 

Find Your G Spot 

Generally speaking, older men tend to have more control over the time of ejaculation. However, in order to prolong the time of intercourse, frequent use of diverting methods and this habit can eventually lead to non-ejaculation.

To find the man’s G-spot: prostate. Sohimi's product Prostate Stimulator is just such an excellent product. It not only stimulates the penis but also stimulates the prostate in men. No matter you are a beginner or experienced, it must be the best prostate toy for men.

In fact, men don't only have one G-spot, they have three! The first point is the "foreskin frenulum", a skin fold that connects the glans penis under the penis. The second point is the "perineum", which is located midway between the bottom of the scrotum and the anus. The third point is the most secret one: the "prostate", there is a chestnut-sized protrusion at five centimeters inside the anus.

Keep these three points in your mind! Stimulate the G-spot of these men from time to time when making love. If you and your wife are both interested and adventurous, you can explore and enhance the sexual pleasure of men together. 

Focus On Body Feelings

Orgasm edge technique, that is, to consciously delay the arrival of orgasm until the most perfect and strongest orgasm is achieved. When a man approaches 90% of the orgasm, he can stop, take a break, and then "sprint" again, his final orgasm will be even more intense.

Sometimes during sex, a man will distract himself unconsciously, such as thinking of how hot his female partner is, and recalling the most exciting pornographic film he has ever seen. If you want to achieve a stronger orgasm, you should focus on your physical feelings. Once you concentrate, you will find that your body's response will be very different. 

Go to try Sohimi's Eliza-Hands Free Male Masturbator. This hands-free male sex toy has 3 modes sexy female moans selected by you, the more intense the twitching, the louder the screaming, allowing you to enjoy a different sexual experience to reach ultimate orgasms. Make sure to use a water-based lubricant to achieve the best experience.

Learn Foreplay

Dr. Linda De Villers, a psychologist and sex therapist in Gary, suggests starting with a slow and sensual back rub. 

The position of a woman is useful because it helps a man restrain his urge to start pushing. A practical extension method is called the "extrusion technique". Just before orgasm, place your thumb on one side of the base of the penis, place the tips of your index and middle fingers on the other side, and squeeze.

Find the rhythm, and then slow down your breathing until it "resonates with the same frequency" as the thrusting action. When the orgasm is coming, you will find that your breathing begins to become rapid, but you still have to work hard to slow down your breathing, because this will make the penis get more blood flow and oxygen delivery, making the orgasm more intense. Go try Sohimi’s enlargement device. Don’t worry, this Sohimi’s penis enlargement device will help train your penis. It is the best penis pump on the market! It’s not only a penis enlarger but also makes the penis erection longer.

This penis enlargement device is intelligent pressure controlled. Just select a preferred pressure level, the penis enlargement device will increase or decrease to the nominal voltage without further manipulation. Compared with traditional erection pumps, this one could be the best penis pump which is so easy to operate. 

Ice Temptation

If you want to help a man let him embrace the stimulus again, using the SPA during the shower can also help. You can use the water flow from the showerhead to stimulate around the top and roots of the dragon. If you want to enhance the effect, you can use alternating heat and cold stimulation. At this time, all he needs is the temptation of ice power. The cream and jelly just taken out of the refrigerator are very good flirting babies. On the one hand, it can be used as a lubricant, on the other hand, it can satisfy the appetite, full of fun, and is most suitable for hot summer use. 

Talk With Her 

A male orgasm includes two stages. In stage one, sperm are drawn from the testicles and collected in a staging area below the prostate in the ejaculate. The second stage (starting a few seconds after ejaculation) is ejaculation. 

If possible, avoid disturbing the man’s attention at all stages. It is great to use techniques that you both know and love, but unexpectedly during orgasm, dramatic exercises are more distracting than distractions. No matter how long you are with your partner, you can have an open and honest conversation about the bed you like and the bed you don’t like, it’s never too late. A survey found that couples who openly talk about sex are getting closer and closer emotionally, and this intimacy translates into sexual desire.