Let us tell you directly at the start of this sharing: No. Male who are on male sex is not always gay.
There is one kind of very obvious gender difference in how Americans deal with straight people involved in homosexual activities. When heterosexual women make out with one another in bars or parties, it is generally believed that they are might be BFF(Best Forever Friends). While heterosexual men hook up each other, it's another matter even if they won't be caught by now.
The writer of the book Not Gay: Sex Between Straight White Men, from NYU Press, Jane Ward, an associate professor of women's studies at the University of California, Riverside, makes the case that this divide stems common understanding of human sexuality: the female is more malleable, more inherently open to experimentation, than the male.
According to a nationally representative survey in the United States, hundreds of thousands of straight-identified men have had sex with other men.
In another book Still Straight: Sexual Flexibility among White Men in Rural America, UBC sociologist Dr. Tony Silva believes that these men, many of whom enjoy hunting, fishing and shooting guns, are not coming out of the closet, bisexual or just experimenting.
After interviewing 60 of them in three years, Dr. Silva found that they liked a series of relationships with other men, from hook-ups, sexual friendships to secret love partnerships, and strongly identified with heterosexual culture.
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Why do straight men have sex with other men?
Most of the men in the interviews reported that they were mainly attracted to women, not men. Most of these men also marry women and prefer to have sex with women. They explained that although they love their wives, their marital sex life is not as active as they want. Having sex with men allows them to have more sex. They do not think that having sex with a man is cheating and see it as a loophole in the marriage contract.
Some of them also hold stereotypes about women's sexual orientation, believing that if they have extramarital sex with women, who may become "emotionally clingy", which may threaten their marriage. People living in small towns and rural areas usually view marriage as an important part of their identity. These men think it is much simpler to have sex with men, without attachment. Their conservative beliefs about gender actually encourage them to have sex with men.
Other men choose to have sex with men for reasons related to masculinity. Some men like to accept anal sex from other men because this behavior allows them to experience pleasure, but without the pressure of having sex with a woman. For example, some men explain that when they have sex with women, they feel that they should be controlled instead of having sex with men. Several single men feel lonely or want to experience human touch, but are not sure how to feel masculine in a platonic way. Sex helps them to connect with other men in a way that makes them feel masculine.
Why do these men still identify as straight?
Most of the men identified as straight because they felt that this identity best reflected their romantic relationships with women, their integration in communities composed mostly of straight people, or the way they understood their masculinity. Identifying as straight also meant they could avoid stigma and feel connected to a socially dominant group. Many felt that sex with men was irrelevant to their identities given other aspects of their lives. They felt that heterosexuality and masculinity were “normal” and expected of them.
Furthermore, sexuality is multidimensional, and attractions, behaviours and identities do not always align. Sexual identities may describe how individuals perceive themselves, but they do not always indicate a person’s attractions or sexual behaviours.
For example, when a “closeted” gay or bisexual man has sex with another man, he views that sex as reflecting his secret gay/bisexual identity. When a straight-identified man has sex with another man, he views himself as straight despite sex with men.
While many people think that men are “closeted” if they have sex with other men yet identify as straight, this is not exactly true. These men are secretive about their sexual behaviour, but not their identity. In fact, sexual encounters with men are mostly irrelevant to their identity.
How do they view LGBTQ2+ rights?
A small number of men are homophobic and have prejudice against the LGBTQ2+ group. This prejudice makes the idea of LGBTQ2+ identity unattractive to them. However, most men support same-sex marriage and the right of same-sex couples to raise children.
To confirm these interview results, Dr. Silva analyzed a nationally representative survey called the National Family Growth Survey. She looked at the answers of straight men who reported having sex with at least two other men voluntarily, compared to those who did not, about LGBTQ2+ rights and masculinity. They have similar attitudes towards other heterosexuals. In other words, heterosexuals who have sex with men are not more prejudiced than other heterosexuals.
Solve the troubles of love
From the Dr.’s interview, we can see that the troubles of married men are dissatisfaction with their sexual life after marriage or the number of sexes that did not meet their expectations. If their partners can’t satisfy them, we suggest having sex with other men or not. It is a hidden family danger. If you want to try safe sex, why not try Sohimi's sex products?
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