How Do I Deal With My Masochistic Tendencies?

Masochistic Tendencies

1. The troubles of a boot fetish

"Hello Sohimi, I am a soon-to-be junior in college and I am very lucky to know you.

I have a lot of confusion about masochism and boot fetish, and I can't find a professional to answer the questions that are bothering me.

This evening I was searching the internet for related issues and came across an article on female aggression and male domination. I saw another example of a New York boss who needed a woman to wear boots on her face to be satisfied, and I feel similarly about sex, so I'll talk about my inner confusion.

At night I typed "masochism and morality" into Google, because I have a big conflict between the two, I have a boot fetish, and masochism, on the first of this month, I saved enough money to go to the queen to meet once, I was very impressed. This is the first time I went to the queen, the queen wore thigh boots, and let me in front of her as a dog I also crawled back and forth in her crotch, wiping her boots with my penis, wiping it and licking it with my tongue, and stepping on my body, crawling with my head between my legs... It was really too humiliating, a real man, to do such a nasty thing.

Masochistic Tendencies

In contrast to the image I thought I was brave and fierce, the kind of image I aspire to, hey, so contradictory, I don't want that, I also aspire to have a normal sex life.

I'm confused by this uncontrollable boot licking when I pretended to be a dog and I want to be a strong man, I have a strong contrast, I'm so contradictory ah, in fact, before looking for the queen conditioning, I have countless times in the struggle with my inner, I also made a vow to watch boots video is okay, but I will never to be a dog, but ultimately did not resist the desire.


Now, three or five days, I want to watch the video and masturbate, once I have money, I want to experience again licking boots as a dog, masturbate and guilty of aspiring to be a mature man, I know it’s a vicious circle, so hard for me ah. I don't want to go on like this, but I don't know how to deal with it, I also feel visibly weaker now, so I'd like to hear the advice of sex experts, I feel so conflicted, thank you for answering my confusion."

(Post with the consent of the reader)

Masochistic Tendencies

2. Advice from Sohimi

Hello to this M. Thanks for writing in. Sorry I put a label on you, you can tear it off if you don't like it. I don't know how much you know about BDSM, but from your description, one way to cause your sexual arousal is boot licking or masochism as a dog. There is an inexplicable sense of excitement and pleasure in shame for you, which is different from your image of wanting to be a dignified, mature man. You are conflicted, torn, and don't know what to do.

3. Some thing about BDSM

First, I suggest you get a comprehensive understanding of what BDSM is. You can click on the link to read the Wikipedia of BDSM.

Then, you need to be able to tell the difference between normal BDSM, sadism and masochism. In my opinion, the former is a voluntary exploration and practice of risk sharing under safe and rational conditions, and its essence is an adult game.

It should be noted that BDSM is not a minority. People tend to be sadistic or self-abusing to a certain extent in their sexuality, but some people are more extreme, they need more control, obedience, bondage and discipline. It is significantly different from sexual sadism and masochism in that the masochism is often out of control and has more serious injuries, even affecting their normal life and relationships, sometimes causing significant pain.

Your pain does not come from the behavior itself, but more from the contrast between your own behavior and your own gender temperament. I don't really want to give you more information from an academic or professional point of view. Let me share with you my experience of studying such courses abroad and participating in practice.

Masochistic Tendencies

4. Enjoy being masochism

My first feeling is that it is enjoyable to be a masochist.

The masochist we are talking about here we professionally prefer to use the side that is being conditioned or dominated. In the masochist known controllable range, they just follow or obey the master's lead, they can fully enjoy the excitement and scenes they want. So among the crowd is also masochist more, good tuners or sadism is a minority, which is one reason why some people needs to pay for tuning services. And there is no sex trade in some tuning. 

Another feeling is that the whole process is full of love. Whether it's a classroom simulation in class or a private party you're involved in in Los Angeles, what you see is full of violent aesthetics, but if you go to feel them, you will know that they are more respectful of each other's feelings and more actively attentive, caring and considerate of each other's needs than the normal sex. There is a sense of being loved, of belonging, of security that is a big part of why these acts are accepted and enjoyed. 

It is a luxury in an impoverished mundane life, the ultimate in sensuality, a new creation in human sexual activity and lifestyle, a game for the few people who know best how to enjoy physical and psychological pleasure, the ultimate experience of the human senses.

Masochistic Tendencies

5. Nothing to be ashamed of

I share so much with you to tell you that being a masochist is not something to be ashamed of, you just have your preferences, and your preferences can live in peace with them as long as they don't hurt others or yourself. It is not at all contradictory to your desire to be a strong man. All it requires is that you have the ability to find a balance between the two, or that as your sexual preference you can use it to get to know and understand yourself better. 

But at the same time, I want to emphasize to you that you need to continue to be a confidence man, to learn to work, to live, to date, to love, to develop and explore your preferences in your intimate relationships.

Your sexual preferences can be explored and played with as a game for your intimacy, fully engaged when you are involved, living and loving well when you are out. It will take a lot of time and ability to balance your sex, your life, your preferences and your relationships. 

Masochistic Tendencies


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